Public announcement: I am 45 AND A HALF!

Being the average (as in “normal”) person that I am, I do spend some time being a little shocked at my age. Not the paralyzing kind of shocked, but the “I was 35 at your age!” kind. The kind that makes you realize how stupid you were for feeling old when you were 27. (I now understand the difference between a hang-over and actual aging symptoms.)

Despite my almost-longing to go back in time as I reluctantly get on in age, I have to admit that being 45 does have its pros. The biggest being how much wiser I am now than I was, say, 10 years ago.

So in the shower this morning – because I take lonnnnngggg showers (yeah, I know. You NEEDED to know that.) – I thought about all the good things about me, today, and why I feel better about me (at 45) than I did when I was 35.

Here’s a run-down of that list:

1. I no longer care what people think about me, what I say, what I wear.

And I have to admit that that in itself, is very liberating. I’m no Gandhi though. I mean, if I was ever invited to a party (hint, hint) I would still do my best to look my best (even though my best today isn’t as paramount as it was when I was, well, 35.)

2. I no longer feel the need to prove myself.

I know who I am and what I’m capable of. And unlike a few years ago, I don’t give a rat’s ass that I’m no mathematical genius. (That’s why my BlackBerry has a built-in calculator!)

3. And speaking of “rats”, I no longer care if I get caught in the rain without an umbrella and have to go through my day looking like a drowned rat.

I may be deluding myself, but maybe the drowned-rat-look gives me a sense of style . . . like I “intended” to look like that. Okay, maybe not. But quite frankly, does it really matter? Will it affect the output of my work if my hair is not perfectly coiffed?

4. I am more confident in my opinions.

This is partly because I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut in my old-ish age and listen to other’s with open ears. (We have two ears and only one mouth, after all!). So when I do share an opinion now, I’ve more than likely thought it out.

5. My math skills may not be my strongest asset but I have come to terms with the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day and no complicated math formula will ever change that.

So now I pick and chose what I do with my time and if the vacuuming doesn’t get done (which is most often the case), I can only shrug my shoulders and say two words in my defense: “oh well”.

6. I now take time off work for appointments (dentist, doctor, etc.) with confidence and without guilt.

Looking back (to when I was younger and “stupider”) I remember feeling guilty for having to leave work early for a regular check-up. I don’t even know the people I used to work with anymore so really, what difference did it make and health should always come first!

7. I am more secure in who I am. Yes, I’m 45 but who I am today is a reflection of who I’ve become; not who I wish I was. And quite frankly, being me isn’t so bad.

So how do you like them apples?!!!